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Name: Alisha
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 12/9/1987
Gender: Female

Interests: Seventeen . Female . California . I have more pics in my profile. Visit my MYSPACE! I LOVE YOU HEATHER!!! <33 Remember I'm ALWAYS here for you hun, through thick and thin. ALWAYS. You're one of my bestest friends and even though you were gone for 2 years, when you came and visited me, we had the best and craziest times. I just hope you get to come back soon! I'm a sucker for love.. and right now I'm on the search for it again. Oh well, love sucks... sometimes. I like to dance and sing (who doesn't these days?) but I always have... Me gusta musica mucho! I love STARS! Stars are awesome..esp to watch! I like to go to shows and I love almost every type of music. Pepsi rocks! I choose Pepsi and Tropical Punch Kool aid any day. Things I also enjoy are my friends... they are the best people I have known and we are there for eachother 24-7 and through thick and thin, and I love them for being my support, and there for me when I need them most. They keep me happy and laughing and they accept
Expertise: GUY HUNTING!! lol, jk. Dancing, I guess. Being me!!! :-D BEING CRAZY!! i aM LoCa iN tHa CaBeZa!!
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other

Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:

Black Star Dork
Yahoo:

Black Star Dork

Member Since: 6/8/2003

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Monday, May 16, 2005

Okay, Friday night was pretty much owned! After school, me and my girls kicked it for a while. Then me, Myte, Felicia and Erika went to Valley fair till my baby and his homie picked up me and Myte. Me and Johnny are official! Afterwards, we dropped off Myte around 9 something. Then kicked in the some park, and I got fucked up. Then we picked up my cousin Justine and then called up Aaron, and eventually it led us to Chris's house and my baby drank some more than we took hella pics, and just chilled and shit, and we crashed the rest of the night over there. It was pretty sick. Next morning, it was nice to wake up in Johnny's arms. Well, we got up and me and Justine messed around... as in walked around being the dorks that we are!!..... and decided to jump in the pool and come back in soaking wet. We took a shower, then got ready and left. Damn... I hella don't remember everything bout that night... like my baby said, it's like a DVD menu, I can only remember scene shots. Well, here's the pics from that night, yo!! There's hella so... ENJOY!!!

Ahaha Maybe if I wasn't so wasted at the time, and Justine wasn't a camera slut, I would be in more of these!
.
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/us19.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/mejussychrishln.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/us21.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/us20.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

After "doing Shawn" (jumping in the pool)
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/mejussych1.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

Me and Johnny passed out.... <333
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/mejd1.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/chrisjussybed1.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
Me and Chris, then Jussy and Chris
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/mechris1.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/jc1.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

Justine... I love you!! lol!!
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/je1.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/je2.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

Even Jesus gets dehydrated!!
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/jesusdrinklol.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

My boo all passed out, without me!!
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/jd1.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

"Eggs." ahahaha!
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/chriseggslol.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/blackstardork2/chriscupboard.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

HERE'S SOME OTHER RANDOM PICS I HAVE...

5:13 PM - 2 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Waddup fo0lz?!? Damn!! I haven't wrote in here in a min!! I should update more!! Well life couldn't be better!! I can't complain. Friends are awesome... work is awesome... money is awesome... family and I are doing pretty good and I'm talking to someone new! It's someone I knew since I was small, but haven't seen for hellza years! So we've been hella chatting it up. And we're gonna meet up soon, before he comes to my STEPS show. And I'm not gonna fall on my ass.... right babe?? LOL! It's hella crazy... when I was young I used to be afraid of him cause he was mean!! But he's hella sweet now!! Oh.. your all prolly thinking.. what the hell happened to Jerry... hella dropped that shit!!! Ew, he's such a lame ass ma-fucka!! I hella picked a winner this time... NOT!!! Damn... he's hella despereate and scandalous... he goes through my Myspace buddies and adds em.. including 2 of my cousins an tried to hit on em!! Ew, fucking loser. Find your own friends!! And he's hella stalker status!! Reading my blogs on my Myspace. And reading the comments me and my sister left on my cousin Green Eye's page! Ew... fucking douche bag. Well I've been out and about alot lately!! Damn, I'm gonna be 18 soon too!! And I'm prolly getting my liscense within 3 months. I can get it next month, but knowing me... it'll be another couple months. I hope this weekend is cracking!! Well since I've been doing alot.. I don't feel like writting alot. but when I do find something important to talk about I'll holla!! Peace out Nukkas!!

9:32 PM - 1 view - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

"When you left I lost a part of me...."

I just can't believe how fucking hard this is. I don't know, I don't know..... I don't fucking know. What do I do to get him back? I know there's still a chance. But why not now?! I need him. I really do. I miss him, I love him, I need him, I care so much for him. Why did I even fucking have to IM him or call him that one day! Why!?!?!? Why couldn't I just tell myself what I needed to change in order for our relationship to be a good one? Why didn't I do that? Why didn't I just work on it without telling him we can make improvements? One little step I wished I left out!! Like with Jeremy... the one step I wish I could have changed and when he asked is he should just tell Jessie "to back the fuck off, for good." but I told him, "No. Don't be mean about it. Still be her friend." and look where that led. And with Tommy, the one step I wish I could have ever left out was ever admitting I gave the other Tommy dome. I mean it was wrong, but we weren't dating yet, and right after that he was cool off me. If I would have still denied it, we wouldn't got into what we are in now. And Jerry... if I didn't ever complain, or ask if we should at least go on a break... I wouldn't be here writing all this shit right now. Where do I always go wrong? Or better yet... why? Why me? Why am I ALWAYS fucking screwing up!?!? I don't ever deserve to live here. I just fuck everything up. Including myself. I wish for once things can go right. I'm sure if I have one more chace, I'll appreciate everything 29872873 x's more!! I miss him sooo much. And baby, if you read this.... please... I know you said there's still and chance and "who knows what can happen", baby please... let's make this happen today. I need you in my life. I wasn't kidding when I said I'm lost without you. Right now, I'm so lost, and I can't find my way back, unless you help me. I love you Jerry. Please, realize that I will learn to trust you, even if that means tomorrow I have to learn, even if it means TODAY! You got to realize... how many jerks I've been with, and why I didn't want to even try to trust you. Maybe if you read my past entries, you will see what I mean. Please realize, this time it'll be different. But with the same feeling of love. I'll give you your space for family, friends, and school.... cause don't you realize... I need that too?? Every relationship does. Not just ours. So please... let's me this worth. I promise you, I'll not only make it all up to you, I'll make it worth it, and worth your time. Every second of it. I love you. Please remember that. Please.... "One more try...."

Mariah Carey - "We Belong Together"

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I did nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself

I didn't know you
I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling now
Now that I don't
Hear your voice
Or even touch or even kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
What I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side

We belong together
When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together

Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
Baby nobody else
We belong together

I can't sleep at night
When you're all on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me
'If you think you're lonely now'
Wait a minute
This is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface

I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby

When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together

Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody else
We belong together

Chat from April 5, 2005

Black Star Dork: fuck... I really need him right now... I just don't know how!!!
Black Star Dork: it's driving me up a fucking wall!!!
: do you?
Black Star Dork: i don't know how to get him back
: find someone
: i think you will see in a few days that you don't need him i think your confused right now
Black Star Dork: i don't know
Black Star Dork: I'm just not emotionally up for it right now
Black Star Dork: I'm not doing well at all in school
Black Star Dork: I'm not going to the dance on Friday anymore
Black Star Dork: I'm not playing football anymore
: why arent you playing football anymore?
Black Star Dork: I cant even have a good time with my friends anymore, which are the only people who could have always gotten stupid guys off my head when I needed it.
Black Star Dork: cause I don't feel up to anything anymore.
: why cant you have fun with friends
Black Star Dork: cause I can't. I can't... I need Jerry in my life.
Black Star Dork: he's the one that makes me complete right now.
Black Star Dork: and you know how I'am... after breakups I usually just cry a lot and feel like dying, and then go out with my friends for a good time... and forget about it all... but I can't even fucking do that!!
Black Star Dork: I miss him sooo much.
: i see
Black Star Dork: why am I not being strong this time??
Black Star Dork: I try, but I can't.
Black Star Dork: I can't even fake a smile when I need to.
: im sorry to hear that
Black Star Dork: me too..
: just try to be strong...it will get easier with time
Black Star Dork: not for me.. not this time
Black Star Dork: at least not for 6 months
Black Star Dork: that's how long it honestly took me to get over Tommy
Black Star Dork: the minute I got with Jerry, I wouldn't even think twice.. no... not even once about Tommy that way.

8:24 PM - 1 view - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it

Sunday, April 03, 2005

"It's over and done... but the heartache lives on inside..."
And so there it is. It's over so soon. Nothing official, but might as well be. I'm not so sure it's what we need. Yup, me and my man are over. The sad part is... I imed then called him to possibly attempt to break up or go on break with him... and at the end of the phone call I was the one crying trying to work things out. I think it's the fact that you don't want to him him happy... especially with someone else. You all know what I mean. But I know this much for sure... he's going to miss what he had. I mean, yeah I miss what I had... I miss it alot... but he's gonna regret everything. Especially when he's lonely, because I took him in for who he is. I really don't know what happened... I mean... wasn't I the one cool off him at first?? Dang. If this is a "break".. well I'm confused. What do I do? Am I allowed to try to move on? I'm not sure... it's all so confusing. Last night I couldn't sleep. I woke up about 3 times in the middle of the night. I feel alseep at 12... woke up at 1:30.. coudln't go back to sleep for half an hour.. woke up at 3, again... another half an hour... woke up at 3:45 and didn't go back to sleep for an hour and a half. I felt like shit. It's the first time I didn't cry at night, and I tried my hardest to get my mind off that shit... but I couldn't ingore the feeling of lonliness and heartache. I feel like shit x's 2367627. I just couldn't get a nights good sleep... I just couldn't believe he was out of my life. So many hopes and plans... just squashed. For once, I finally felt like I had something going for me. Maybe we were just two different people. I mean, in 12 days he's going to be 20. I'm still 17. 18 in 8 months. But I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I don't want to go to Sadies this Friday anymore, I don't wanna finish football practice and play Powder Puff this Friday, I don't want to do anything. This whole thing is making me sick. I just hope that... this little secret I'm keeping to only myself right now... isn't true. I still care for you Jerry....

Brian McKnight - Anytime

I can't remember why we fell apart
From something that was so meant to be, yeah
Forever was the promise in our hearts
Now, more and more I wonder where you are

Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Do I ever cross your mind anytime
I miss you

Still have your picture in a frame
Hear your footsteps down the hall
I swear I hear your voice, driving me insane
How I wish that you would call
To say

Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Do I ever cross your mind anytime
I miss you

I miss you
I miss you

(No more) loneliness and heartache
(No more) crying myself to sleep
(Don't want no more) wondering about tomorrow
Won't you come back to me
Come back to me, oh

Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Do I ever cross your mind anytime
I miss you

I miss you
I miss you
I miss you

8:03 PM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Damn. I need to update really bad. It's been a while. Well, alot has been going on lately. Alot of changes. Alot of drama. And alot of happiness. First off, I would like to let everyone in on the positves in my life right now. I have a boyfriend. I've been talking to him for a couple of months, and been with a couple weeks. He's one of the best things that has happened to me so far this year. He cares alot about me, he's there whenever I need him, he's true to me and he loves me. He's something I've never expected, but I'm glad that happened. As for the drama, I've been going through alot with family and thursday I ditched school and it was drama from there. School told my mom, and she thought I ran away and then called in some "friends". When I met up with my mom to go home, she didn't know I knew I got caught and she tried to act like she never knew I ditched to see what I'd say or do, and I told her I wasn't fucking dumb and I know she knew and it was all drama from there. Once again I told her I didn't wanna live there, so she told me to pack a bag, and that was that. I was living with my Nina and cousins for a couple days till she called saying they changed their mind and want me back home. I was so fucking mad/sad. But I'm glad I even got that time away from home. My Nina always understood how pyscho my rents were and always undertsood me. She was there for me and let me stay as long as I wanted/needed. And she was there for me to talk to about everything. And I did tell her everything. It felt good for someone to finally listen, really listen, and helped me. As now that I'm back home, I'm hella trapped in my house. SOME FUCKING BITCH (DON'T THINK I DON'T FUCKING KNOW) told my mom about how me and my cousin sneek out and party. How we drink (which me and my cousin drank ONCE together, I've been drinking more than her and she's straight edge now 100%) so that's why they don't trust me with her, and they also said we do drugs. Which is fucking stupid, cause we didn't. But that BITCH who I'm talking about better fucking watch out, and my mom has a big mouth and told me so they should have just kept her mouth shut because I'll fuck them up if they don't watch out. So now all doors in my house have a lock that u need a key to use to both go out and in of the house. But whatever. The more they fight to keep me here, the more I fight back. Let's see. Well, before all the drama was happening.... my auntie Lynda had her baby, Aaliyah, aka... my new little sister! She is sooo adorable and I might even go see her and my brother AJ today. I miss my friends so much! I mean, yeah, we chill at school and all but we hadn't had one of our girls nights in a long time. I've been chillen with my babe alot. I haven't seen him since friday though :( I miss him sooo much! I can't wait for Monday!! I get to see him. Well, I know there's alot more to talk about, but I, uhhh... don't wanna. Well, it's not that, I'm just tired of typing, so... Peace out YO!

I LOVE YOU BABY!!!

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